|
|
 |
| Advertise with Java Journal and Save! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
by Phylis Clay Sparks
Have you noticed how many people let someone else make their decisions for them — tell them what to do, when to do it, and for how long? Especially women, even in today’s world. Many of us let our identity slip away because we fall into the habit of pleasing someone else – especially the men in our lives. We lose track of our authentic selves, our own unique purpose, values and needs. Has this happened to you or to someone you know? Do you know anyone who has allowed someone else to control their life to the point that making their own choices becomes confusing and uncomfortable? If you do, you know someone whose life may be way out of balance.
When we get out of balance by depending entirely upon someone else, we tend to stuff our emotions, squash our personal dreams and deny ourselves a wealth of experience that we might otherwise have had. We let our outer lives control our inner lives.
How does this happen? Sometimes we give our power away to another person to avoid taking responsibility for our own choices. Sometimes we give-in to the demands of someone else because we're afraid to make decisions on our own or because we want the other person to love us. And, because some of us have been taught throughout our lives to hide our light from the world, we become accustomed to walking in someone else’s shadow.
A balanced life is one in which we are honored in every relationship. A balanced life is one in which we dare to share our light in the world and let the beauty and depth of our own soul become clearly visible. To live successfully and balanced in the outer world we must learn to live successfully in our inner world. The beauty and uniqueness that lives as potential in each of us is the very thing that makes us alive.
Novelist and playwright William Saroyan said, “We are not forced into unpleasant activities. We either allow them to come about or we encourage them to come about.” This means that the responsibility for living a balanced, happy and fulfilled life falls squarely in our own laps. Eric Butterworth said, “Happy relationships depend not on finding the right person, but on being the right person.” And it was Eleanor Roosevelt who remarked, “remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
No one is under any obligation to allow another person to decide how we’re going to feel about our self. We each have the right, the freedom and the opportunity to choose the events of our life and chart our own course.
Learn to live from the center of your own being. Likewise, honor the other people in your life by allowing them to be their own authentic self. Be open enough to learn from others, but make a commitment to yourself to stay in control of your own feelings about YOU and the choices you make. When two people understand this, they can co-create a balanced, happy and productive relationship.
The book, Soul-Esteem: The Power of Spiritual Confidence, by Phylis Clay Sparks, and her CD with 12 meditations set to music, are available at The Soul-Esteem Center, Amazon.com, New Leaf Distributors, and DeVorss. Visit www.soul-esteem.com for more information about The Soul-Esteem Center.
| August Featured Stories |
|
|
|
|
|
